stageright…stageleft


if i were god via pissy rabbits
July 28, 2006, 3:47 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized
new favorite line ever: “if i were god i would have killed everyone already” – landry

check out the context over at pissy rabbits. it’s a brilliant dissertation on religious pampletry (yes, that’s a word in the sl…sr dictionary).

while on the subject of religious pampletry i must share a story.

back in 1988 (yes, that makes me old in gay years) while i was a freshmen at bsu, the school allowed the religious organizations to set up booths in the common area on the way into dining hall in an effort to recruit new members.

the dining hall was actually on the 2nd floor of walnut hall, and as such, there is one central stairway to access the dining floor. the groups would set up tables with their literature and try to get new members as we were forced to walk the plank between all of the lutherans, catholics, babtists, etc (curious, there where never any buddhist or muslim groups – not that i remember anyway. i would have been very keen to check out the buddhists.).

beginning with breakfast on monday and continuing all the way thru dinner on friday, one particularity aggressive catholic organization was quite adamant that i take a mini-bible (the concept of which still cracks me up… mini-bible? the normal sized one is huge, what did they edit out to make it pocket sized?) to save my soul. as if a mini-bible could save anyone’s soul.

being a fairly respectable guy (cb, stop laughing), i politely said no and continued on to the grub (wally’s had fuckin’ kick-ass grub for a caf).

this continued at every meal for the whole week.

by lunch on friday, i was completely over it – i mean seriously – there were not that many people on campus that this group (and the very adamant closeted young future fag who tended to corner me to get me to take his mini-bible [hehe, i bet he wanted me to take his mini-bible]), couldn’t remember that i said thank’s no thanks the previous 13 times they/he asked.

so, when the future fag approached me again imploring me to take his literature, i responded very calmly with something to the effect of: “no thank you, i’m not a christian – i worship at the church of our father satan, would you care for some of my literature?”

suffice to say, the expression on his face was akin to my taking a dump on the dining room table infront of grand-mum during thanksgiving dinner. he was horrified.

my friends of course were falling over themselves laughing while trying to maintain their composure.

sure, it was probably a bit extreme, but really – how many times can you say “thanks, no thanks” without getting annoyed as fuck that they just don’t get it.

needless to say, for the duration of my stay at that school (another year and a half), that particular group gave me a wide berth – however, covert (or so they thought) glances and whispering always happened as i walked by (especially during the recruitment week).

of course, i’m not a satanist – not even slightly, i just can’t abide being preached to in an effort to save my soul. thank you very much, i’ll take care of my soul just fine without any help from the pope and his church.

so yes landry, if i were god, at this point in the game – i’d wipe the slate clean and leave the earth to the mother nature and the cockroaches. chances are the earth would be a whole lot happier without humans fucking it all up.

music heard:

no more love songs / lloyd cole
get that love / thompson twins
inside of me / madonna
i did it just the same / eurythmics
i want your love / transvision vamp
juke joint jezabel / k.m.f.d.m.
love…thy will be done / martika

play that funky music white boy / wild cherry
look at me / geri halliwell
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